This subject is something I have throughout the years been so ignorant about as I haven’t been taught about it from school, parents or peers. It is a subject that’s not talked about because there is so much victim blaming and shame behind using the the words “assaults” and “harassmentt” because what if you just overreacted? What if they won’t take you seriously. In the light of Sarah Everard’s disappearance in Clapham, South London, who was just walking home from a friend’s house and was most likely sexually assaulted and murdered. It has encouraged so many women on social media to speak up about the subject of sexual assault and the precautions women has to make when walking alone compared to what a man needs to watch out for. Here are some examples:
It made me think about an incredible graphic novel I bought over summer, where I also wrote a story about my personal experience with sexual harassment. It’s called Drawing Power and tells stories of women’s sexual harassment and violence. It is amazing and contains loads of stories on subjects that are not talked about a lot and it really put everything into perspective for me. Here are some of the stories with their respective illustrations, that really impacted me:
I have many friends who have opened up to me about being touched without consent, even some who experienced sexual intercourse without consent. When I told them “What you experienced is rape”, they brush it off saying “No it probably wasn’t what they meant”, “No it wasn’t that serious, I don’t want to overreact” or even “I don’t know if I actually told him to stop so it’s my own fault”. WHY!!! WHY are women blaming themselves for being sexually molested, touched inappropriately or given unwanted sexual attention?
It made me so sad and angry at the same time that my female friends wouldn’t admit to being raped regardless of telling me that they didn’t consent to sexual intercourse and was physically held down when the male inserted their penis into them. Apologies for being so blunt but I feel it’s necessary to get the point across. Every time I open up about my experiences with unwanted sexual attention or groping, the female I open up to always have a story of their own to share. This saddens me deeply and I want to share my story to encourage others to share theirs as well.
I want to share my own personal experience, which I’m planning on making into a short graphic novel later on. It’s a piece of text I wrote last summer right after having read Drawing Power.
When I was younger
I had trouble defining what was right and what was wrong when it came to guys
I wanted attention from them, I wanted them to like me and think I was beautiful
A night out wouldn’t be complete without being groped a few times
I didn’t second guess it, I was so used to it
Until one day when my friend slapped a guy out of the blue and yelled:
“FUCK YOU!!! He grabbed my ass!!!” The guy ran off, yelling “Bitch!”
Thinking that she overreacted slightly, I sheepishly replied “that happens to me all the time, don’t worry about it”
“Marie, that’s sexual assault” I didn’t know at the time…
Is was a group of guys who thought it was funny how she stood up for herself angrily shouting at them. They came back for more, laughing at her, trying to grope her ass and breasts. She cried and we ended up leaving the club.
Today I’ll happily be the one slapping someone’s face if they grope me. This has to be vocalised way more as it’s still happening so often.
Touching someone without their consent should never be normalised.